Walking with a purpose

You look at me, And you see all that I need. Insecurity Makes no difference to you You love me In spite of me You still love me I have been searching for myself in the eyes and hearts of people around me. Hoping and praying that they would see me, and know. Talk to me on the phone, and know. Pass by me, and know. Despite my efforts I was still the girl who felt invisible. Real pain always seeps through the facade and punctures our mask, forcing us to look at ourselves. The truth is, most of the time we have this feeling, this voice inside of us telling us that we’re too close to give up. The voice makes us believe that we can do it, but it doesn’t always mean we can do it alone. How often do we get lost in life and never stop to ask God for His divine direction? Instead, we go to church each Sunday to receive more fuel to further our will, hardly ever asking what His will is for our lives.  I'm so often reminded of what Faith in the storm looks like. Job...

Walking along the dusty, desert road, a man named Moses is caught off guard. He sees a bush and it's inflamed, but not burning. Ablaze and lit up, the bush flickers off flecks of fire but the bush, leaves, and stems are not consumed. Slowly, cautiously, Moses approaches the burning bush. So many times I find myself walking in a desert wanting desperately to hear from God. Amidst of dry and arid landscape, there are times I find myself asking,  What am I supposed to do with my life?  I may not be Moses or have a big stick, but if we take a look at his life we can learn from his desert season and what God requested of him, things that God requests of you.  We are told in Exodus 3 that God spoke to Moses through a burning bush. As He spoke to Moses, He asked him to do something specific. Moses carried a rod in his hand and God asked him to  lay it down . No big deal, right? Just lay the stick down. Done. We can read that portion and not se...

Who I Am Forward One of the most phenomenal experiences of my life comes from being able to experience life through other people’s hearts, and minds. Many people have a preconceived notion about who I am, and what matters to me. However, one of the few people who knows who I am is finding out who she is and it is empowering to be a part of her journey.   It happens often that I get texts thanking me for my support and being a constant in her life but the truth is, she knew me when I was a cashier that had dreams. She knew me when I moved out for the first time and struggled. She knew me when I was in school, struggling to make ends meet and holding it all together. She knew me when I was making terrible decisions. She knew me when I didn’t know myself. She knew me when I was becoming a woman and she was a part of me finding who I wanted to be. NOW I get to be with her on her journey! Every day she impresses me with her continued growth, which makes me challenge myself...

"You look like tar"  "Why does your tongue have spots on them?" "Dang you ARE BLACK!!"  These are some of the things that were said over me at the tender age of 12 years old in front of our local middle school. This started the journey of hiding within myself, that I learned and became accustomed to. I just had to make it through. I told myself I would finish middle school, and then high school, and I wouldn't ruffle any feathers because I didn't want the pain that came with whatever insult may have been hurled at me.  I remember way back when, when my innocence was stolen before I could even define it, before I took the first hit and started drowning. As a result of these moments though I didn't dare look at myself in mirrors or too long in photos. Up until now at 26 I had never even owned a mirror. I laid out my clothes for the day and if it looked good I put it on. People told me I was beautiful and I stare at them blankly b...

You ever wonder what's next? Ever wonder where your life is transitioning to after this season you are currently in ends? I know for me I find myself in the midst of wondering where my road is taking me. I'm learning that it's through those circumstances that God reveals to us the depths of our strength. There are times when God presents problems in our lives that force us to find answers in Him.  Recently I've been challenged in what it means to abide in Christ. For me it means learning how to trust Him in the moments where things are not going according to plan. It's learning to remain patient, steadfast, and unwavering in your love. Can I let you in on a secret though?  Sometimes I don't wanna do it and the rebellion in me wins. I can't remain patient to save my life! I am an individual that wants what I want instantly because I feel like I work hard for it. I'm in a season where I'm learning that loving God does not require work. It require...

I am learning to enjoy the independence. I am learning to embrace the feelings of what it looks like to be single. I had to close my eyes and embrace this silent change that was starting to become the new normal for me. You date... and you settle... and then you try and date again, only to be left with the hollow feelings of what singleness really looks like. Truth is you are fighting lonely in one of the most truest forms.  You pray and ask God to send your "husband" or "wife" only to realize that you aren't ready yet. Oh that's not your testimony? I will raise my one finger and head for the exit of the church, and maybe people won't notice. Maybe people won't see the unhappiness that sometimes fills my eyes as I struggle to cope with this reality. It's Valentines Day..... and I am just going to keep it real. Not a huge fan of the holiday (although my mom makes excellent gift baskets for me and my siblings). I work retail so you see the ...

Moving Forward 31 days into the new year. It's come with it's portion of setbacks, misunderstandings, and quitting. Most of us had great intentions to eat better, go to the gym, and for me spending more time with Jesus. If I can be honest I have been fighting the battle of inadequacy and comparison real deep. I look at the people around me slimming down, buying houses, and living life like it's so golden. Doing all of that comparison I began to lose myself in the process. I forgot what mattered to me and I failed to realize that God was still protecting my seed.  When it comes to our destiny it’s hard for us to realize that there is a seed coat covering our seed. So there’s this coat around this thing that is supposed to be reproduced in your life. There is this protection thats covering your heart, your dreams, and your identity. It has to be protected. So God is the protector of that. God has qualified and is cultivating us for a specific time and season. We...