Who I Am

Who I Am

Forward

One of the most phenomenal experiences of my life comes from being able to experience life through other people’s hearts, and minds. Many people have a preconceived notion about who I am, and what matters to me. However, one of the few people who knows who I am is finding out who she is and it is empowering to be a part of her journey.  

It happens often that I get texts thanking me for my support and being a constant in her life but the truth is, she knew me when I was a cashier that had dreams. She knew me when I moved out for the first time and struggled. She knew me when I was in school, struggling to make ends meet and holding it all together. She knew me when I was making terrible decisions. She knew me when I didn’t know myself. She knew me when I was becoming a woman and she was a part of me finding who I wanted to be. NOW I get to be with her on her journey!

Every day she impresses me with her continued growth, which makes me challenge myself. If I ever owned a business, ran for office, or decided to do anything where I needed someone to be my right hand, she is my choice and has been my choice for the past 3 years. This journey she is on helps BOTH of us enjoy life and brings us closer together. Life is not about who someone else wants you to be, it is about finding out who you are and determining what you will do with what you find.

In her 50th blog titled “Who I Am” one thing she forgot to mention is her biggest attribute, she is vulnerable! To me, being vulnerable is such an important part of being a human being because it makes you relatable. Everyone should not get the privilege to see your vulnerability, but when someone does let you see theirs, as she has let me see hers, it makes you a better person. She might not know because I am sure I haven't told her, but one of the most admirable traits is that Cre allows herself to be vulnerable within our friendship. It is in that vulnerability that makes her who she is and make me love her energy, her journey, and her heart!

I love you Cre! It has been an HONOR to be a part of your life and now your blog. Get that speech ready ;), continue to live life with your whole heart and NEVER apologize for being who you are and going through your journey your way! ~ Dr. Page ;)

P.S. Everyone should have a Cre because she is legitimately the real MVP.

And it added to who I am… they counted me out but it added to who I am

I have two pictures in my head right now. One of me the first day of high school and another on my first day of grad school. Both moments have this image of a shy girl afraid to show people who she is. Both moments share the battle of comparison of where I am versus everyone around me. Both end in the same manner, I hear a voice saying, “Hold your head up you are going places.”

You see I look at both of those images and I see the girl longing to always fit in. I see the girl pretending. I see the girl wishing, and dreaming for more for herself and never doing it because she was afraid to fail. I see the smile on her face that is not a genuine representation of where she is at. These two images of a girl who does not even know who she is going to become yet. I see the images of a girl who does not even know what God has in store for her.

You see life has not even shown her that flaws are okay, and that true healing will take place in owning her identity in Jesus. That she will not have to chase what’s next but merely stay in the present and bloom while God handles the anxiety she holds. She won’t have to search in people to be enough because God is going to send her people that invite her to the party, and with that invite there will be truth that is constantly spoken over her.

She will begin to understand that the no’s of yesterday will foster the one yes that will matter. She will learn to remain passionate in the waiting because what God reveals will humble her in the purest of ways. Her heart is always joyful even in sorrow because she has met God and he has shown her the beauty in just being herself.

You see both are versions of myself have made me who I am. Both versions showed me the beauty in unimaginable ways. I had to stop comparing my journey to everyone else. I had to evaluate the journey that I am on and see the misguided beauty in it.

Did y’all read that dope forward from Dr. Page (she’s a real PhD having doctor…can y’all tell I am super proud of her?). I want to publically say thank you and that I could probably write a whole entire blog on her tips and quips for life, but what she has taught me the most in this season recently is enjoying the journey that God has you on. Own who you are and walk in that identity. That you don’t live out your full purpose when you are wishing to be someone else.

Learning to love yourself at every phase and in every stage, can be a struggle, but that's the challenge we all face. Whether it's gaining weight, getting married, or going back to school life is constantly forcing us to rediscover who we are. Moral of the story: life takes you through many ebbs and flows. How do we tap into all that God has for us while not conforming to the patterns of this world? The answer is simple: Do you, and be you. No one can outshine the person that God has so uniquely created in you. So, I want to encourage you to trust God in the process while he takes you on your journey.

God,

Thank you for turning my grief seasons into your glory and grace filled moments. Thank you for the light that always shows up at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for showing me that I am never too far gone to receive anything great from you. I love you because your plan has shown me who I am.

Signed,

Waiting but always seeing you