You Still Love Me

-

You look at me,
And you see all that I need.
Insecurity
Makes no difference to you
You love me
In spite of me
You still love me

I have been searching for myself in the eyes and hearts of people around me. Hoping and praying that they would see me, and know. Talk to me on the phone, and know. Pass by me, and know. Despite my efforts I was still the girl who felt invisible. Real pain always seeps through the facade and punctures our mask, forcing us to look at ourselves.

The truth is, most of the time we have this feeling, this voice inside of us telling us that we’re too close to give up. The voice makes us believe that we can do it, but it doesn’t always mean we can do it alone. How often do we get lost in life and never stop to ask God for His divine direction? Instead, we go to church each Sunday to receive more fuel to further our will, hardly ever asking what His will is for our lives. 

I'm so often reminded of what Faith in the storm looks like. Job is a great example of what suffering looks like, and what every human struggles with, and that thing is surrender. Although Satan literally wrecked Job's entire life, the limits were set by God. We see the journey of Job losing everything only to gain more in the end, which is to learn to love and pursue God even in the suffering. 


We want to be under construction, but we don’t want to be noticed in the midst of our growing pains. If you are like me, you are probably thinking "how am I supposed to trust God in the suffering". Honestly it is a hard place to be in. It's hard to look past your pain and fully receive the love that comes with surrendering it all to God. How do we embrace the process of not having it all together? 

It’s hard to accept pure love when you feel you don’t deserve it. It’s essentially what keeps us from maximizing our relationship with Christ. So often we’d rather rush our healing so that we can appear to have recovered. When you believe others can’t handle your truth, you only give away the pieces of you that are universally acceptable. I had a foundation, but it was built on wanting people to accept me, and not my accepting myself.

Eventually we settle and begin to believe that maybe this is the best that life has to offer us. What if maybe all this time God has been waiting for the stars to align in my life so that I could see how beautiful things can be made with the victory of letting go of fear and choosing to follow Him. 

Here is to choosing to trust God even when it’s hard. Here’s to choosing to trust God even when the healing hurts. Because there is victory on the other side. This type of pressure produces a character that the world cannot teach us. So continue to allow this type of refining to happen and let this dope diamond emerge.

God,

I am humbled by the way you continue to love me. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for seeing me. Thank you for loving me. In a world where we trust everything else, God help us to trust and choose you. We love you because of the victory that comes in the healing.

Signed,
Growing in You





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Something BIG

-
Image
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: (Philippians 2:3-5)  What have you done for someone else lately? Like really stop and look at the last few days of your life... What have you done for someone else? Okay if you have some something for someone else have you done it for the right reasons?  People really only purely live to make good impressions. Rarely in a society like today's does a person do something just because they want to be sweet. Paul writes asking the Philippians to love one another and be one in spirit and purpose... It's simple when we work together caring for one another we demonstrate Christ's example of putting others first it's a symbol of unity.  Think about Jesus... He was so humble. Willing so many times to give up his own rig...
Read more

Pressure

-
Image
“You can’t skip experiences, the experiences will be will be what they will be…It’s just what God does”   It’s just what God does? If someone had told me a year ago that pain, pressure, persistence were a part of my journey I would have flat out laughed at them . You see I have always been the person that does not handle stress well (if you are close to me in life you call me dramatic daily). I overanalyze everything to the point where it makes me doubt myself and who God is.  However I have been meditating on this thought “What if pressure creates purpose?” Somebody just skimmed over this so I am going to repeat it  What if pressure created purpose? When God takes us through the journey, different ingredients create ultimate success. If you stay frustrated with the process while creating your masterpiece you begin to miss the need to be present. How Creseida? How am I missing it? Because homeboy and homegirl you have the chance to let your situation speak life into someo...
Read more

This too shall pass...

-
Image
This too shall pass... “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) So this last month has been a season where the enemy has really tried to take control of my life. I had to deal with a lot of emotions that were brand new to me. The hardest part during this time was trusting God to prevail. I had to really learn about GRACE and having a heart of FORGIVENESS . God is so awesome y'all because he spoke to me even in this trying time in my life not only through his word but through his people.   This text from Corinthians is so amazing because it reminds me how strong God is and how he doesn't care how weak we think we are because his power is always going to be on display. We have to place ourselves in a position to rely on God for our effectiveness rather than ourselves. When we admit that we are so weak that we can't do it on our own then it affirms God's strength.  So recently I was talking with a friend about life a...
Read more