Dear No One-Season 2

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I am learning to enjoy the independence. I am learning to embrace the feelings of what it looks like to be single. I had to close my eyes and embrace this silent change that was starting to become the new normal for me. You date... and you settle... and then you try and date again, only to be left with the hollow feelings of what singleness really looks like. Truth is you are fighting lonely in one of the most truest forms. 

You pray and ask God to send your "husband" or "wife" only to realize that you aren't ready yet. Oh that's not your testimony? I will raise my one finger and head for the exit of the church, and maybe people won't notice. Maybe people won't see the unhappiness that sometimes fills my eyes as I struggle to cope with this reality.

It's Valentines Day..... and I am just going to keep it real. Not a huge fan of the holiday (although my mom makes excellent gift baskets for me and my siblings). I work retail so you see the ins and outs of people struggling to tell their people how much they care with bears, chocolate covered strawberries, and $50 flower arrangements. Every year I am reminded of the joy that comes with not having to be in the hustle and bustle, while also remembering that God shows me love daily.

In Season 1 of Dear No One I was looking to surrender my whole heart to the Lord hoping that it would yield the fruit that I desired for pursuing Him to produce. I am learning that God does not give you things he knows you are not ready for. I can't even master being alone, dealing with the adaptation of cancelled plans, or do my own laundry in a timely manner; my point is in this season of singleness the Lord is looking for a consistent pursuit of Him and his people. He's longing for me to enjoy the freedom that comes with this time with Him.

So here is my nugget of wisdom which came from one of my homies, I caution and encourage you to continue to abide in the Lord and trust His timing...don't forget to let Him be sovereign even over your journey. Feel joy in this moment, in everything, but joy only comes when we draw near to God. He knows the loads we carry. He wants us to let Him help and see that there is joy and satisfaction in bringing Him in to every moment. Every moment He desires for you to acknowledge Him and let Him in.

No one can take away what your story is going to look like. Focus on getting yourself right with Jesus. God still desires all of you. Continue to spend this time developing yourself in life and in Him. He's shown me the type of man I need to be longing for and it is far more honestly than my heart will ever fully imagine.

So here's a new letter to my someday prince
Dear No One,

 I know you are out there still getting your life right, and I appreciate that. I pray that God is the center of who you are and all that you desire to be. I pray that the way you are pursuing God, seeking him daily, and growing so much in wisdom. One day we will grow together into all that God has called us to be. 

 Signed,

 Chasing God First


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