Walking with a purpose

The older you get the more your heart craves for genuine friendships that feed not just your heart but your soul. I can remember my senior year of college and in all in chaos of everything I had going on God gave me four girls who lived together who adopted me into their home. They were the friends that I called on for silly things like a walk to chapel on my chapel days. They were the shoulders I cried on when golf was not going well and they were my BIGGEST supporters when it was. They were my C O M M U N I T Y in a world of chaos. Abbey, Kayla, Laine, and Laura were my college community. So naturally when the last bag was in my parent’s rental and I hugged Mama Wig (Kayla’s Mom) goodbye I could not help but feel like I was leaving so much of myself in the city of Montgomery. Two weeks later I started my internship with HEB and my first day in the store I was talking to my store director and we were sharing a little bit about our lives and I told her how I was struggling ...

“Cause I think I am heading down the wrong road and I need to find my way back today…” Dark. Lonely. Empty. How many of us identify with these emotions? How many of us have ran from these emotions? I can identify with the struggle and the redemption that comes from these feelings. The peace that God places you in because he has a desire to love you more than your current situation. Allow me to share… I have struggled with my identity for as long as I could remember so much so that it created this deep depression because I always felt like I did not "measure up" . I would say I was “saved” and then be living a completely different life behind closed doors. I was a cutter. Now you may be thinking “wait, what is she saying?” I was broken, empty, and hurting. I did not trust anyone with my pain. It was not until I was in college that I learned of the true calling God had placed on my life. I could in fact be whole if I asked him for it.  “He heals the brokenhearted...

" You've been called out of the darkness i nto the marvelous light d o you know who you are?  Royalty..." When I started writing these blogs I never in a hundred years thought they would turn into this place for me. A place of comfort where I began to share my hurt and insecurities. So recently when I decided to start this series called Masterpiece I knew I was going to have to search deep in the barrows of what I thought were healed wounds in order to be a true blessing to someone.  I went on a date a few weeks back. The guy seemed nice leading up to us meeting for dinner. So we met up. He said he had to go to the restroom and I waited and he never returned. As I walked outside to get in my car and collect my life, I see him driving off. I called him, no answer. I proceeded to text him and his response was crippling "I thought you would be prettier in person" Those words were burned in my mind forever.  Have you ever been stuck? I am not ta...

So I'm driving home after work and I'm taking a moment to reflect back on my year. I had some highs. I had some lows that tried to keep me down, but nothing compares to the moment where it all comes together. The moment where every lesson that God has sent you starts to reveal his perfect plan for your life. So I decided to tell you all 5 lessons that I learned this year that showed me I was a winner in the end of 2014.  1.  I deserve everything that this world has to offer.... I just have to go get it. If you know me for real you know that I am such a scaredy cat. I take the safe route in everything from what I eat to what I wear. The moment I have to step out of that comfort zone of safety I get really scared. Recently me and my best friend traveled to Mount Bonell. Now Destiny is definitely the free spirit... She's climbing to the top and I'm cool with just sitting at the bottom not trying to get hurt. This particular day she says to me "you will never know wha...

"I'm not afraid to walk away with God I'm free cause I found love in me..."  As I get ready to turn a new age this week I find myself reflecting back on one of the most impactful years I have had age wise. I learned how to love more selflessly. I graduated from college :). I experienced what it's like to move away from your best friends. I've learned how to be in long distance friendships. I've learned about God's grace and how faithful he teaches me to be. Whew those life lessons will forever hold a special place with me but I had three things that were impactful for me so I wanted to share them with you.   1. Always be real with yourself! When you trust yourself you start making all the right choices.- I feel like this year in my life I have desired to be surrounded by real, honest and transparent people. Like my heart has craved it without even knowing it. I feel like I've learned this life lesson really well from my friend Corinne thi...

"Fight the shadows and conqueror death...we are the light of the world and we gotta let the light shine"---- We Are by Kari Jobe I'm broken. I think I'm bold enough to own that in this stage if my life. I live in a world where I'm constantly pushing people that love me away because in my mind I have this delusion that love hurts, because I have chosen previously not to guard my heart. I allow my insecurities to rule me to the point where people question if my confidence exists. Each "devastation" I have allowed myself to suffer has been confirmation of my secret insecurities. Feeling unworthy of true love, I allow myself to settle for what the world offers me, but this crazy thing happened today... God showed me his love in a new kind of way and it was selfless, humbling and true. I heard him calling me out of this place of hiding into a place of walking with him. I heard him requiring me to really trust him in this place that I am in.  I believe that a ...

I once heard that there is something therapeutic about owning your truth. Owning the person that you are. That person can be broken, scarred, or whole but it's necessary to own every part in order to share your truth.  What's my truth? That question has plagued at my heart for the longest time. Is it okay to let a person see you at the most vulnerable state that you've ever experienced? My fear is that people will meet the real me and decide that I'm "too much" and leave.  I'm broken, lonely and seek love in all the wrong places. When I was in middle school I had a crush like most girls do and before school I was standing with my "friends" outside the school and this boy was talking to his friends and they were pointing at me. One of my friends approached the boy and asked what was so funny and he said "man your homegirl looks like tar!" My crush was among that group that laughed so From that day forward I hid in the shadows everyday u...