You are more

I once heard that there is something therapeutic about owning your truth. Owning the person that you are. That person can be broken, scarred, or whole but it's necessary to own every part in order to share your truth. 

What's my truth? That question has plagued at my heart for the longest time. Is it okay to let a person see you at the most vulnerable state that you've ever experienced? My fear is that people will meet the real me and decide that I'm "too much" and leave. 

I'm broken, lonely and seek love in all the wrong places. When I was in middle school I had a crush like most girls do and before school I was standing with my "friends" outside the school and this boy was talking to his friends and they were pointing at me. One of my friends approached the boy and asked what was so funny and he said "man your homegirl looks like tar!" My crush was among that group that laughed so From that day forward I hid in the shadows everyday until I graduated high school. 

You try so hard to be what everyone wants you to be. Hiding real emotions and real fears afraid to let anyone real in. Doubting the beauty that you hold inside because it exposes who God really has desired for you to be. He made you for more. He made you for more than sleepless nights and a tear soaked pillow. He made you for more than being the person that had to cut to feel. He made you for more than feeling like you had to turn away from Him.  He made you for so much more. 

So many people called me names. I answered to everyone of those. I let people define me to the point that when people told me that I was more than what I was never (sometimes still don't) believed them. Is that God's desire or promise for my life? His word has already deemed me a queen in his eyes. A lot of times we feel like we are not capable of being anything greater when God has already told us that we are. 

Best advice I can give that person in the valley right now is: you are worth more than what people say you are. There will be many people in your life that try and take away the light that God has deposited in your life. They will tell you that you are ugly and that your life doesn't matter. That is not true. You are more. 

Owning the person that God has called me to be has allowed me so much more room for confidence. Yes there are some days that are harder than others. What gets me through is knowing that I serve a God that is able to keep me from falling. He's already promised me a life that is so abundant where I won't have to live in fear or hide broken in the shadows from the words that were said to me a decade ago. I believe that me writing this blog is going to release a young girl or boy that has been hiding. Hiding because they are to afraid to own that someone defined who they are. I want them to know that God loves them and holds such big things for their future. Come out into the open and allow Him to move. You are more.