Walking with a purpose

"You look like tar"  "Why does your tongue have spots on them?" "Dang you ARE BLACK!!"  These are some of the things that were said over me at the tender age of 12 years old in front of our local middle school. This started the journey of hiding within myself, that I learned and became accustomed to. I just had to make it through. I told myself I would finish middle school, and then high school, and I wouldn't ruffle any feathers because I didn't want the pain that came with whatever insult may have been hurled at me.  I remember way back when, when my innocence was stolen before I could even define it, before I took the first hit and started drowning. As a result of these moments though I didn't dare look at myself in mirrors or too long in photos. Up until now at 26 I had never even owned a mirror. I laid out my clothes for the day and if it looked good I put it on. People told me I was beautiful and I stare at them blankly b...

You ever wonder what's next? Ever wonder where your life is transitioning to after this season you are currently in ends? I know for me I find myself in the midst of wondering where my road is taking me. I'm learning that it's through those circumstances that God reveals to us the depths of our strength. There are times when God presents problems in our lives that force us to find answers in Him.  Recently I've been challenged in what it means to abide in Christ. For me it means learning how to trust Him in the moments where things are not going according to plan. It's learning to remain patient, steadfast, and unwavering in your love. Can I let you in on a secret though?  Sometimes I don't wanna do it and the rebellion in me wins. I can't remain patient to save my life! I am an individual that wants what I want instantly because I feel like I work hard for it. I'm in a season where I'm learning that loving God does not require work. It require...

I am learning to enjoy the independence. I am learning to embrace the feelings of what it looks like to be single. I had to close my eyes and embrace this silent change that was starting to become the new normal for me. You date... and you settle... and then you try and date again, only to be left with the hollow feelings of what singleness really looks like. Truth is you are fighting lonely in one of the most truest forms.  You pray and ask God to send your "husband" or "wife" only to realize that you aren't ready yet. Oh that's not your testimony? I will raise my one finger and head for the exit of the church, and maybe people won't notice. Maybe people won't see the unhappiness that sometimes fills my eyes as I struggle to cope with this reality. It's Valentines Day..... and I am just going to keep it real. Not a huge fan of the holiday (although my mom makes excellent gift baskets for me and my siblings). I work retail so you see the ...

Moving Forward 31 days into the new year. It's come with it's portion of setbacks, misunderstandings, and quitting. Most of us had great intentions to eat better, go to the gym, and for me spending more time with Jesus. If I can be honest I have been fighting the battle of inadequacy and comparison real deep. I look at the people around me slimming down, buying houses, and living life like it's so golden. Doing all of that comparison I began to lose myself in the process. I forgot what mattered to me and I failed to realize that God was still protecting my seed.  When it comes to our destiny it’s hard for us to realize that there is a seed coat covering our seed. So there’s this coat around this thing that is supposed to be reproduced in your life. There is this protection thats covering your heart, your dreams, and your identity. It has to be protected. So God is the protector of that. God has qualified and is cultivating us for a specific time and season. We...

I'm the girl that starts off with high hopes for the new year. I make plans to lose weight, Tackle being more organized, and being closer to God. Somehow, I still manage to fall short. I let anxiety and fear take over and somehow rule and reign over my life. I fight the silent nudges to step out on faith and allow God to rule and reign over my life.  Life gets difficult. You will be tried. Fear will have its moments where it wants to hold you hostage. I find myself wanting to open my eyes, and the hurdle not be there in front of me. Begging to live life out of the valley.  Sometimes, I wish that God would make my mountain easier to climb. I wish that He would give me the strength I see in others. Before I can let that thought fully live in my mind, I remind myself that God won't just give me the power that someone else possesses because I may not be able to handle the weakness that comes along with it. This year the Lord placed me in moments where I had to step o...

Dear Young Girl,  I know you want to be "good enough" but honestly what does that look like at 18? Must perfection be your only concern? You see the enemy knows the most powerful thing a person can possess is freedom, and he is seeking to keep that from you. He will do everything in his power to keep you in bondage, focused on the wrong things, and stagnant in your faith. The enemy doesn't want you to be free which is why you must become free. You are beautiful. Worthy. You are seen. Take those headphones out and pick up your head. It's going to be impossible for people to interact with you if you are constantly standing by in the shadows. People need to know the story behind those beautiful brown eyes. The life behind that incredible smile you have.  Step out. Dare to live and love again. I know your heart is hurting, and I know you are insecure in so many ways but believe that greater is coming your way. Freedom from insecurity is possible you just hav...

Dear Young Girl, It's me future you. I know you are wondering what's on the other end of your hurt. You are 13, going through the motions of life, and trying to figure out how your image fits into what's going on around you. You love Jesus, golfing (sometimes), and reading books. You are quiet, rarely talk to people unless they approach you. However, some crazy kid (that you will forgive later) is going to say something so hurtful that's going to question your ability to be great. It will rock your world. You are going to scrub your skin to be lighter. You are going to find other outlets that aren't the right outlets to release pain. I spent the weekend traveling back to the place where our transformation first took place. Seven years ago I dared to be different and I stepped on to the campus of a school in Montgomery Alabama. Afraid of all the things that could have gone wrong, God showed favor on my life from beginning to end. This weekend I sat amongst our f...