Dear No One

-
So over Christmas break my mom and I were watching tv and I was upset because all of my siblings were off on their various adventures. Like it was really disturbing me, so after we had dinner my mother asked me "do you feel like you will be alone forever." I waited a little while before I answered then stated "yeah I do because it hard always feeling alone when everyone around you seems to have someone" then this is where my mom hit me with that revelation like she does "well Creseida you need to trust God at this time in your life. You can't want what he has not desired for you to have yet. He has someone out there for you. You have to believe that. Do you believe that?"

Do I believe that? I would be lying if I said that I do 100% of the time. This season of being single has probably been the hardest as I get older in age. It forces me to come to terms with things that I am dealing with internally. I deal with placing my value every where but in God. Honestly I do not trust him with this area like I should because it involves total surrender on my end. 

What does that say about my relationship with him? It says that I don't value him like I should, and it shows that I would much rather put my value in what I don't have as opposed to what I do have which is him. I never want to be so big that I can't tell God what I really feel. My feelings at this point are irrelevant compared to how he feels when I don't acknowledge his place in my life. I don't want to be that person that says God is my number one and then I don't really activate my faith. Faith means that I have to trust that God has someone amazing prepared for me. 

Truth is God wants all of me. He wants to be my first boyfriend. He is longing for all of my heart and to show me what love is. I need to spend this time with him developing myself in the word. He wants to show me the type of guy that I need to be longing for. Who cares that everyone around me has someone? If that's your excuse for getting into a loveless relationship that doesn't make you happy then you are completely all wrong. I never want to place myself in a position to be with someone that is not a man after God's heart. 

So here's my letter to my someday prince:
Dear No One,
I know you are out there getting your life right while I get mine right. My prayer is that you love God more than you could ever love me. I pray that you can accept me flaws and all and that we will grow to become the person that God has required us to be through his word. I love you already and I don't even know you.

Signed,
Busy becoming  a woman after God's own heart 

Comments

  1. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2014 at 9:52 AM

    So you were listening......Keep praying God is listening! Mom

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Something BIG

-
Image
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: (Philippians 2:3-5)  What have you done for someone else lately? Like really stop and look at the last few days of your life... What have you done for someone else? Okay if you have some something for someone else have you done it for the right reasons?  People really only purely live to make good impressions. Rarely in a society like today's does a person do something just because they want to be sweet. Paul writes asking the Philippians to love one another and be one in spirit and purpose... It's simple when we work together caring for one another we demonstrate Christ's example of putting others first it's a symbol of unity.  Think about Jesus... He was so humble. Willing so many times to give up his own rig...
Read more

Pressure

-
Image
“You can’t skip experiences, the experiences will be will be what they will be…It’s just what God does”   It’s just what God does? If someone had told me a year ago that pain, pressure, persistence were a part of my journey I would have flat out laughed at them . You see I have always been the person that does not handle stress well (if you are close to me in life you call me dramatic daily). I overanalyze everything to the point where it makes me doubt myself and who God is.  However I have been meditating on this thought “What if pressure creates purpose?” Somebody just skimmed over this so I am going to repeat it  What if pressure created purpose? When God takes us through the journey, different ingredients create ultimate success. If you stay frustrated with the process while creating your masterpiece you begin to miss the need to be present. How Creseida? How am I missing it? Because homeboy and homegirl you have the chance to let your situation speak life into someo...
Read more

This too shall pass...

-
Image
This too shall pass... “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) So this last month has been a season where the enemy has really tried to take control of my life. I had to deal with a lot of emotions that were brand new to me. The hardest part during this time was trusting God to prevail. I had to really learn about GRACE and having a heart of FORGIVENESS . God is so awesome y'all because he spoke to me even in this trying time in my life not only through his word but through his people.   This text from Corinthians is so amazing because it reminds me how strong God is and how he doesn't care how weak we think we are because his power is always going to be on display. We have to place ourselves in a position to rely on God for our effectiveness rather than ourselves. When we admit that we are so weak that we can't do it on our own then it affirms God's strength.  So recently I was talking with a friend about life a...
Read more