Over Now

There are something's about this year that I'll never be able to get back. I lost what felt like a lot but really they turned out to be blessings in disguise. I'm thankful that God was able to create beauty out of ashes of burnt trials and tribulations in my life. What did I learn most you ask? Allow me to give you my top 5 things and hope that they will give you life as you head into a new year. 

1. God is always here with me even when I cannot feel him or sometimes in my eyes falls silent.

This year there were so many times where I felt so alone and made the decision to seek everyone but God. One day while I was in my quiet time God reminded me that he not left my side. He showed me constant things about him and his love for me in the word. You want to know the crazy thing? I still chose humans over him! They constantly disappointed me because humans are not meant to be everything to everyone. They are only meant for certain seasons in our lives and cannot give us the love that we desire. Only God can give me the love and care that my heart desires. I learned to draw near to God and he will ALWAYS draw near to me. 

2. Without struggle I never knew that the easy days were worth the fight

So I have this friend and she has been such an inspiration to me this year. So back in August I decided to start this gallon water challenge a day. With that I started to train my body and mind to work out daily. One evening she joined me and after we finished she asked me to run with back to our apartment. I looked at her crazy because I had not run nonstop ever in life especially with a jug of water in my hand but I  still accepted the challenge and every time she felt like I was going to stop she would say "come on you got this" I made that run that day. Afterwards she looked at me, high fived me, and said "it's a struggle now but it won't always be, I'm always reminded on my worst days that the fight is still in me and that the easy days are going to be worth the fight" I loved her more in that moment than she will ever know. Struggle creates and makes way for the easy days to be easier. God didn't design struggle to oppress us but to teach us how to trust him. 

3. If I survived once I will survive again

Often times tragedy and upsets come at the most unoportune time. Satan likes to use those times to make us feel like we won't survive. Heartbreak comes and it tries to show you or make you think that you can't make it. That's a lie. Simple as that. This is not the first time that your world has been rocked and it will not be the last. I find my strength in God's presence knowing that he's my absolute everything. He's my one and only desire and I lost track of that a lot this year. I placed so much value in not surviving that I failed to remember that God has taken me through hard times before and I came out on top. It's not enough for me to survive if I don't try again, hope has so much more endurance than fear. 

4. The inside is so much more important than the outside

I struggle with being single. There I said it. The whole world knows now...this year God showed me new things about what it means to be beautiful. This year was such a growing year for me physically. I always felt the need to compare myself to people in my circle when I didn't need to do that. Out of that comparison God birthed some great things inside me. For example I gained more confidence and began to show itself on the outside and people began to notice. I began to pray and ask God to cultivate things inside of me that people would see. So God dropped the fruits of the spirit on a friend of mines heart and she challenged me to really cultivate those things in my heart and figure out a way to give those things to others. I reluctantly took the challenge because it was uncomfortable and really BOLD. Is that not what Christ is calling for me to do anyway? The answer is yes. Who cares if I'm single? Not God because he's growing something inside of me that is going to go past what people can see on the outside. People can call me beautiful everyday but when someone connects with my smile and can tell that I'm happy and its a genuine happy now that's God given beauty. 

5. My life and everything that I do with it is a gift to God

This year I really struggled with the next step of my life. I had a hard time making big girl decisions but what has me in awe is how God continued to show me his plan for my life. He had me constantly surrounded with things that he desired for me to be apart of. Through all of that I constantly prayed that whatever I did whether it was golf, or school things that he constantly got the glory and that his plan always would prevail. I think that I lost sight of the gift. I lost sight if the blessings in the midst of loneliness I forgot that God has given me so many gifts. He was trying to show me that he was for me and that he was still going to be in the spotlight no matter how I felt. That was amazing. I can't believe I lived that out. 

Finally I want to say thank you. First to God for allowing me the opportunity to honor him with my life. I want to thank my family for their support and constant inspiration. Finally my awesome friends that constantly fill me with God led inspiration. My prayer for anyone reading this blog is to that they would take a moment before the new year to realize how amazing God is. Realize that he's turned some bad days into amazing ones. Realize that he has a love for you that sometimes your heart cannot even contain. I want to leave you with this thought to sum up my year "I don't know where my life is headed from here. I just know I have to maintain this feeling. I have to remember how whole I feel. There's something so beautiful about using your shame, mistakes, and struggles to help another. I honestly never thought the pain would be worth it...then I gave it to God"---Sarah Jakes

I love you all,

Creseida G